You Know You're A Redneck If...+

You go to a Jeff Foxworthy concert like I am today. I go later in the afternoon/evening. It should be fun and I'll be taking one of my friends. Oh - and I may be getting a girlfriend VERY, VERY soon. And the good news on that (before I get back on topic) is that she's shipping out for Marine boot a week before Thanksgiving, so I'll be dating a Marine if she makes it out with an EGA.

But yeah, the Foxworthy concert is gonna be pretty long - but it'll be fun. Really, really, fun. I cannot wait to go.

Sorry sir but, you know she is gonna wana **** you on her last week...

Actually, no she won't. She doesn't glorify sex nor as she done ANYTHING REMOTELY close to sex consensually. Now what are you implying by your message because not only was it not professional or tactful, but it was offensive. Especially since you don't even know this girl. I do. And I also know things I'm not going to tell you for the sake it's personal and shouldn't be told to outside ears. Hell, I probably shouldn't know but I do.

Now, it would be in your best interest to apologize before I get angry.

Cartwright wrote:

Actually, no she won't. She doesn't glorify sex nor as she done ANYTHING REMOTELY close to sex consensually. Now what are you implying by your message because not only was it not professional or tactful, but it was offensive. Especially since you don't even know this girl. I do. And I also know things I'm not going to tell you for the sake it's personal and shouldn't be told to outside ears. Hell, I probably shouldn't know but I do.

Now, it would be in your best interest to apologize before I get angry.

Sorry sir. My mistake, I was wrong.

Thank you, Shifar. I expect better conduct out of my Police Sergeant than this. Think before you speak your mind.

Anyway, back on subject, Jeff Foxworthy was hilarious. I had a box seat in the front left, so we were within spitting distance of Jeff. Not that I would spit on the man intentionally, he was just so damn funny. He ended the show with his usual and tradition, "You might be a Redneck" joke section. He truly owns up to his reputation and being able to see him in person as opposed to on TV was a very rewarding experience.

if your family tree has a rope hanging from it...you might be a red neck

If you have a working TV sitting on top of a broken TV... you might be a Redneck.

If you use scotch tape instead of electrical tape to fix a broken wire... you might be a redneck.

If you shoot your car for target practice... you might be a Redneck.

if you have ever had your nipple bitten off by a beaver....you might be a red neck

I am still too scared to find out how he came up with that one...

Your a redneck if you think climbing trees is a sport.....

You might be a redneck if u make apple sauce with your feet

You might be a redneck if you make your own shoes.